Recently, BabyMori reached out to my super hunk of a husband, Chris, and asked him the question, “What does Fatherhood mean to you?” I was excited to read what he wrote because I am constantly amazed at what an incredible Father he is. We talked in our dating days about wanting two daughters, and now that we’re about to have four daughters, I would have 100 more babies with this man! On that note, want to have at least 5 more, husband? Just saying… think about it:D
Father’s Day is one of those days that is bittersweet to me. This will be the 8th Father’s Day that I mourn the loss of my Father and sister. While I miss my dad tremendously, I can only imagine how much joy it would bring him to see the way my husband loves me and the way he fathers our daughters. I know this is what he prayed for me when he first held me. I imagine him rocking me to sleep and praying for me to have a husband who would love me and our children the way he loved my mother and me. I know that when he dreamt of having grandchildren, he dreamt of them being fathered by a man like Chris. While I mourn the fact that my dad didn’t get to walk me down the aisle and give me away to Chris and mourn that he did not live to meet his grandchildren (he is about to have 9 now!) or embrace us as we welcomed our daughters and became parents, I know that the things he prayed over me were answered, and in more ways than I think he ever imagined.
I miss my dad so much, especially on this day… But the joy that I feel when I see the smiles on the girls’ faces when they model a new dress for their father, or the way the girls soak up the way Chris teaches them how to play a new game or the way they hide and jump out to surprise him when Chris gets home for work… That joy and thankfulness trumps the pain that comes with not seeing my father today. Chris preached at Church today, so he got there before we did. When we walked into the sanctuary, the first thing they did was look around for their dad and then took off running for him as soon as they found him in the crowd. That love they have for one another, that excitement they have as they run to their father and then watching the way he picks them up and embraces them, feeling that same excitement… It’s just so rich!
So, with that, here is an interview with Chris on what Fatherhood means to him. Happy Father’s Day to all of you Father’s out there, and for all of you may be mourning any kind of loss of a Father, a spouse or a child, I pray you feel more joy than pain today and that you are overwhelmed with love and peace each and every day you mourn those losses.
An Interview with BabyMori- What does Fatherhood mean to you?
“Fatherhood is, to me, a gift, a responsibility and a blessing all rolled into one. I get to experience what it is like to have my hands involved in molding and shaping a life, but am also being molded and shaped by my daughters. My eyes are constantly opened to new things around me, in my daughters and in myself. Fatherhood has shown and is showing me just how compassionate I can be, but at the same time, has shown me and shows me just how truly selfish I am and can be all at the same time. Fatherhood is one of the most fun things I have ever done while also exhausting and frustrating. I think Fatherhood is amazing, but also a weighty responsibility that I want to continue to grow in and handle correctly. My understanding of what it means to be created in the image and likeness of my Creator has been broadened beyond what I ever thought it would be.
On a related note, as a father to daughters, I will say that fatherhood has made me keenly aware of the way we, often unintentionally, belittle our female population. As we enter into the last stretch of pregnancy with our 4thdaughter, I am met with many comments about my lack of sons that are increasingly frustrating to me. Many times the conversation goes this way:
Person – “Wow, your 4th child. Do you know if it’s a boy or girl yet?”
Me – “It’s my 4th girl”
Person – “Wow, I’m sorry” or “You must have more patience than me” or “Still don’t have that boy yet?” or “Will try until you get a boy?”
Now, I understand where the line of questioning comes from, but this is often in front of or within earshot of my daughters. I would love to take this opportunity to say that I absolutely love raising these little girls and in no way feel as though I was left out of something simply because I do not have a son, or that in some crazy way, these girls are of less value to me than having a son. I thank God for these 4 precious girls that I have been entrusted with and cherish the fact that I’m able to be part of their lives, and they a part of mine. Sure, the novelty of raising a little boy is alluring and I enjoy entertaining the thought of having a little mini-me running around. That novelty, however, pales in comparison to the blessing of this house that is filled with estrogen. I want to see the gifts set before me and be diligent to raise strong, productive, useful, and joy filled women. I am planning a small bunker for myself for the future, though, and will be practicing my most intimidating facial expressions and death threats for the boys that will be knocking on my door.” -Chris Pahls.