We recently welcomed our fourth daughter, and before I share any of the details, I want to start out by acknowledging that I know what a tremendous gift it to not only have such a positive birth story, but to also still be holding a healthy baby in my arms. This isn’t everyone’s story, and with every baby we welcome, I become more aware of this and simply want to acknowledge that when I celebrate our story, I still grieve others.

I feel like it was just last year that I was writing Ada’s birth story. Probably mostly because it was. We are truly so grateful for another beautiful daughter!  I begin to weep every time I stop and think about how awesome it is that we get to parent these FOUR little ladies! This is a dream come true for me beyond words. 

Frankie is 4 weeks old today and is such a delight!  We have heard her cry only a handful of times, and that even includes mild fussing.  She is super content and has such a sweet temperament.  We are all absolutely smitten with her. Her favorite things include boobs, naps, blankets late night snacking and snuggles galore, so I guess you could say she also takes after her dad:)  Aside from me being concerned that she doesn’t blow out as much as her older sisters, this has felt like such a smooth transition. I made a joke the last time I wrote a birth story that I would probably be writing another one next year… and here we are! I am so grateful and excited to share another beautiful birth story with you!

And remember, this is about birth 😅 I started to feel “ready”, a little before we were due. I went to see my midwife on September 7th and told her I felt like I had dilated quite a bit already.  Before I share more, I should give you a little back story.  My body might be slightly jacked up. Well, it kind of is for sure, we just can’t be totally sure why.  I’ve experienced some nerve damage from 3 separate tailbone injuries and an unnecessary epidural that was forced upon me in our first birth, both which have altered my life and attributed to some nerve damage. When I went into labor with our second daughter, I was dilated to a 9 before I ever felt any contractions. I could kind of barely feel them at a 10, so we made the decision to break my water, and within a minutes  later, 2 pain free pushes, and she was here!  With our third, I was dilated at a 10…for 2 days before I felt my contractions.  SO WEIRD!  I couldn’t really feel my contractions with Ada, our third, until my water broke and once my water broke, it was time to push almost instantly as well. Norah’s labor, my first, was the only one where I could feel uncomfortable  contractions.  You can go read those stories under my birth stories if you guys want to as well!

Anyway, I share this because for some odd reason, my body works a little differently and labor is probably a little different for me than most and I always want to share this as I advocate for pursuing the birth you desire.

I told our midwife that I felt very dilated and she kind of giggled at me, but she also took me completely seriously, as she always has. Something I have appreciated the most about our midwife is how she always takes my concerns seriously and trusts my intuition. She has now delivered three of our babies and it is truly wonderful to know your care taker and have your care taker know you and your family so intimately. It makes for such an incredible experience. I had dilated to a 5, was 80% effaced, and all of babies suture lines were lining up just right. I told her I didn’t feel like I would carry Frankie to October.  That instinct, the same one that told me I was having girls each pregnancy, was correct.

Two days later I started having this really weird, super hot, specific kind of sensation, which I’ve learned is me dilating.  I don’t really know how to describe it except for I felt it with Charlie and Ada and feel like I was tuned in and more aware of my body this pregnancy. I can’t feel my actual contractions, but I can feel this hot sensation. I started losing my plug and, remember that this is a birth story, but I mean, I was losing A LOT!  I lost more and more all day and continued to the next few days.  This made me a little nervous because I knew I was dilating more so and earlier than in my previous pregnancies, as I lost my plug only days before meeting our daughters.

Our midwife and I decided it was best if I took it really easy, like bed rest style, just to make sure we kept Frankie nice and cozy!  Chris and the girls were incredible during this time!  Actually, Chris was beyond incredible this whole pregnancy.   For those of you who know me, you know about my the pain my tailbone/epidural injuries have caused… but for those of you who don’t, we have learned that my tailbone is broken 3 different directions, from three different breaks! When I am pregnant, my tailbone and sciatic nerve basically try to become one with one another which is a not great experience. It is extremely painful and any kind of intervention we have tried has only provided temporary relief.  By the time I was 6 months along, I could hardly walk most days.  Chris did all of our grocery shopping, prepared most dinners, did laundry when I couldn’t carry any or walk down stairs, and basically carried the many loads that I physically couldn’t.  If you see that guy, tell him what a stud he is!  I’ve always known I was so blessed to be his wife, but Chris serves us girls and I so selflessly and sacrifices so much for us in a way that I can’t even comprehend sometimes. Thank you so very much husband!

When I had to take it easy, he had the girls join him on a mission to help me out and they called themselves ‘team home birth’. 🥹 He taught the girls different ways they could help out, and it was just incredible. They started folding laundry, emptying and filling the dishwasher, working harder at keeping their toys picked up AND nobody complained, well, at least in front of me♥️ They just loved me in such a way that I am so grateful for! Chris got them so pumped up to clean and prepare for birth and the arrival of our baby.

Ok… So, fast forward to the 18th.  Everything was looking great and I was now measuring right about 39 weeks.  I had been measuring ahead for awhile and I really felt like I was further along than we had initially thought. I was still having that hot dilating feeling and losing plug, so I ended up asking our midwife to come visit and check me.  She came over and YEP! I was dilated to an 8! She wasn’t at all worried but it is a little strange to dilate this far without feeling contractions and without having any issues like a weak pelvic floor or an incompetent cervix.  She headed home and the game plan was to just wait and see what my body did over the next few days.

The next day I felt really weird.  I started to think about what might happen if my water broke because if this labor were to be like Charlie or Ada’s, I would probably end up delivering a baby on my kitchen floor by myself.  I haven’t felt any strong contractions in any of my pregnancies until my water breaks, but by that time I’m at a 9 or 10 and ready to push, and my longest pushing record is less than 10 minutes and 6 pushes with our first.  With Chris working more than 5 minutes away and my midwife being over an hour away, I knew if my water broke, this would be an unassisted delivery. Which I’ve had friends do, but I didn’t feel ready for that yet. Chris and I talked and we both were in favor of us delivering Frankie WITH our midwife over unassisted. 

So… I asked our midwife if she felt comfortable coming over and helping me encourage labor as naturally as we could.  We weighed the pros and cons and decided that in my very particular and peculiar situation, this was a safe option for us. Neither our midwife or I opt for any unnecessary interventions or procedures, but also have to take into consideration my unique variables. So on the 20th, Our midwife came over and here is where the fun begins!!!

The first thing she did when she arrived was check me… At 10am I was  a 9.  It was the weirdest thing because I woke up feeling so amazing and had 0 back pain! It was the first morning in like 9 months that I hadn’t woken up in pain. It was like my body was just as ready as my mind was. She measured me once more and I was measuring 39 weeks +. We started trying some things that we thought would produce contractions I might be able to begin to
 feel, and within 10 minutes, I was having them. They kept getting stronger and stronger and stronger until the point where they actually reached uncomfortable.  And then at noon, they just completely stopped. I wanted to cry because this is what happened with Ada and it was emotionally exhausting.  I was complete, as in dilated to a 10, and as soon as my contractions would get going, they would stop.  I went for a walk around the yard for 15 minutes, and while I felt a heavy type of cramping, I wasn’t having regular contractions anymore.

We made some sandwiches, ate lunch together and our midwife told me she felt like I just needed peace, quiet, and rest. We had our youngest go with a friend at this point, put a movie on for our older girls, and Chris and I went upstairs to our bedroom to rest.

I was helped into bed and into a position that would allow me to relax, but would also help Frankie get settled a bit better.  I was asked to stay put for an hour and almost exactly an hour later, I was having strong, regular contractions that I could feel and felt ready to get into the birthing pool!!!

By now, a friend had arrived and I was feeling ready to go. Norah, our oldest was SO ready! She had been asking me every day when Frankie would be here and reminded me every day that she wanted to be there with me and cut the venible, aka, umbilical cord:D Once I was in the tub, I started having what I will call “normal ” contractions. They were strong and powerful and I knew Frankie would be coming so soon!  Norah and Charlie got measuring cups and would rub my shoulders and pour warm water on my back through each contraction!  Charlie would lay her head by my head, touch her forehead to my forehead and hold my hand. I won’t ever forget it…. It was absolutely precious!

Norah would say things like, “take it easy, listen to your body, you’re doing so good, relax yourself”. It made us all giggle each time which made labor feel so easy. There wasn’t any stress or tension or fear. Just peace and joy and sweet giggles. At one point Norah asked me if I was having any “uh oh” feelings and proceeded to tell everyone the things in life that give me “uh oh” feelings☺️It was the perfect comic relief!  The girls would bring me my water and tell me to take a sip and were just so encouraging! I just felt completely loved and safe.

After being in the pool for about 10 contractions or so, I felt Frankie coming!  I remember feeling more in control of my body than I ever have in labor before.  I felt complete peace and it was so amazing.  I remember holding my friend’s hand with my left hand, Chris’s hand with my right and knowing we were all about to meet Frankie! I didn’t fight contractions or tense up, and I just felt the most relaxed I ever have in labor. In fact, we were all just visiting as I felt Frankie begin to crown. I didn’t really even need to push. My body was doing all the work for me. I knew about the fetal ejection reflex, but had never experienced it to this level with such peace and ease! 

I asked our midwife to support me, which basically just meant make sure Frankie was not coming out with a hand on her forehead like her sister Ada. I am so grateful for that support when I have asked for it as it has prevented me from tearing or even feeling sore after birth for all of our home births.  I experienced slight upward tearing with Norah in the hospital, but & am grateful to have not had to experience anything like it since.  I am so thankful for the extra care and support that has allowed me to have such beautiful experiences.

After that first sensation to bare down a bit, Frankie’s head was born! I reached down and felt her head and just felt so grateful.  Norah yelled, “I can see Frankie! She’s coming out!” Norah was the first to see her begin to crown. She called for her sister Charlie to come back over to the pool, as she had left the room for a moment. I heard her little pitter patter run towards the pool and got so excited! I was on my knees with my arms and head resting on the side of the pool and felt very comfortable.  Everyone stopped talking, a Bon Iver record played in the background, which I maybe had Chris flipping from side A to side B throughout labor, and I remember just knowing that I would be holding our precious baby in seconds! A minute passed, and with the start of my last contraction, we welcomed Frankie!

As soon as I pulled Frankie out of the water, Norah started crying and exclaimed, “I can’t stop happy crying! She’s here!” The sensation of reaching down and pulling our babies to my chest has been one of the most amazing sensations of my life.

Norah was so sad that she missed the final moments of Ada’s birth. I was dilated to a 10 for 2 days with Ada and after a long day, our midwife suggested our daughters spend some time with their grandparents. While I grieved them being away from us, it was as if once I was alone, my body was given permission to fully rest, & then Ada joined us.  I hated not all being together, but was grateful for another peaceful birth. Norah’s first words when she met Ada were, “I really wanted to be here, but you did it!”  She put her hand on my face and told me how proud of me she was. 😭

I add this information about Ada’s birth to better stress Norah’s desire to be with me when we birthed Frankie.  Throughout my whole pregnancy, Norah and Charlie made it very clear that they would not be missing Frankie’s birth… and I am so glad they didn’t! They were truly incredible and made the experience even more wonderful!

I pulled Frankie to my chest, and the first thing I noticed was her super dark head of hair.  A few days before, Charlie crawled into our bed and shared about having a dream about Frankie and that she had pretty, dark hair. Man, she was so right! Talk about happy tears! My heart was SO full! I remember looking at everyone and just feeling so content and beyond thankful.

A few contractions later, I birthed my placenta.  This time, a little more blood than usual filled the tub and my midwife gave me a look that made me think, “uh oh” in a scooby doo type voice.  She acted fast, and with a little uterine massage, had the bleeding stopped before I exited the tub. I am so grateful for her fast action and peaceful demeanor in caring for me the way she did. If you wouldn’t have known what was going on, you wouldn’t have suspected anything outside of the ordinary was happening at all because of how calm and collected our midwife remains as she does her wok.  

After that, we all headed upstairs to get cozy in bed and spend some time getting to know one another. Frankie was, she is, just so special. 7lbs, 4oz, and 20 inches of absolute sweetness! She started nursing right away and I nursed for about an hour and then it was time for Frankie’s newborn assessment!  Chris went and picked up Ada and I was a little curious how she would act when she saw Frankie had joined us.  She ran into the room and yelled, “Hi Mommy!” Then saw Frankie and squealed, “OOOHHH! Hi Baby!” in the sweetest little baby voice!  She is smitten with her little sister!

Aside from seeing the extra time mom spends nursing as the perfect opportunity to empty out any purse or coffee she can find, she has adjusted wonderfully! Norah and Charlie have done amazing and are wonderful helpers. They’re right by me helping me with anything they can. Filling up my water jug, throwing away diapers, bringing me this and that, and have done so with joyful and eager hearts and without us even asking, which feels even more helpful somehow. 

Thank you so much to everyone who helped with our girls, brought us meals, coffee and beverages, for the prayers, encouraging words and congratulations, for the sweet Instagram messages and late night conversations, and for everyone who has loved on our family during this whole process!

Chris, thank you for getting a few shots on this special day, for making all the babies with me, and for taking such good care of us. You’re truly so cool. To our midwife, I am so grateful for your friendship and what you have gifted me in life. You have loved me and supported me in a way that I can never say thank you enough for.  You have been so much more than a midwife to us and we are truly blessed to have you in our lives and to be apart of yours. A special thanks to In His Hands Birthing Supply Co. for partnering with us and blessing us with our home birth kit.  Oh! And did I mention we had a GoPro in the tub! The footage is pretty cool and I’m so thankful to have been able to watch one of my deliveries this way. If you have a water birth, maybe put a GoPro in the tub.

On that note, I’m going to go nurse! Thanks for reading friends!

If you are interested in why we choose home birth or would like more information on this topic, please feel free to reach out!